- As you get older, and begin to handle some responsibilities that come with:
– adulthood
– and family…
You will view your parents with much kinder eyes.
You may have felt they failed you at some point.
They may have done or said things that hurt you unintentionally and failed to make amends.
I want you to breathe, and…
Forgive them.
As you grow older, you’ll get to understand our parents were adults who were trying to figure life out too.
Imagine you’re single and without kids yet but with lots of responsibilities…
How does it make you feel?
Now imagine having a family of 2-6 kids while still trying to hold everything together.
Imagine losing your source of income or job security got removed
How pressured or stressed would you be?
Now with all the above challenges , would you be the best version of yourself?
Would you keep performing as the best partner or parent when the pressure keeps mounting on you, and responsibilities are piling up?
Think about it.
And be honest in your answer.
While I’m not trying to invalidate the hurt or pains your parents might have caused you while growing up.
While I’m not trying to justify all the wrong things they did that made you hate your childhood or growing under them…
I just want you to put yourself in their shoes for a moment, and see things from their angle.
Some of our parents never had soft landing.
Some had us at the peak of their careers or biz growth, where they had to choose between us or dreams.
But, they sacrificed their dreams for us. While others chose their business or careers over their kids.
Some of them were considered stupid or insane by their peers for choosing us over their promising careers or biz.
But, they took the insults, faced the embarrassments, and stuck with us regardless.
They won’t tell you these things because they feel it’s their responsibility for bringing you into the world.
So they did what they had to do – for YOU.
Wait…
What’s your definition of LOVE and SACRIFICE ?
Tell me.
Sometimes, our parents did somethings that hurt us out of ignorance – because they didn’t know better.
But now…
Now that you’ve grown and gotten knowledge and experiences your parents could only have dreamt of…
And you still hold a grudge against them?
Why so mean?
After all the sacrifices, blood, tears and sweat they experienced while trying to give you the best they can give in their capacity,
… this is how you choose to repay them?
Wow.
Are you forgetting that you might be a parent someday, too?
Oh, it didn’t cross your mind abi.
How would you feel if your child resent you, like you’re resenting your parents right now?
No, I’m not trying to guilt trip you o. Far from it.
I’m just being realistic and want you to see things from another perspective.
Some of you will hold grudges against your parents ,and fail to make peace with them while they’re alive
Only to feel empathic towards them, and regret resenting them – after they’re gone.
The regrets will haunt you for years, if not forever.
Is that what you want?
Let’s get something clear…
This conversation is not for those with deadbeats parents. Nah.
Not for people who had monsters for dads/moms who were intentionally cruel towards them for no justifiable reason.
I think those kinda parents deserve whatever they get. ( don’t look at me like dat).
I’m speaking for the parents who DID the best they could do to ensure they raised their kids right
… but failed or made some mistakes while at it, because of their limited knowledge or experiences.
And if you parent is one of them,
Please, forgive them, my friend.
They had your best interest at heart and wanted the best for you, but somehow…
they got caught in numerous challenges of life at the same time that they couldn’t treat you like you wanted, or give you the life you wished for.
Again, forgive your parents.
Make peace with them and move on, because…
They won’t be here forever.
So, don’t wait till their funeral before you forgive them, or show them love. It’d be meaningless.
Whatever pain they caused you in the past while you were young, or even now that you’re matured, FORGIVE them.
And promise not to repeat their mistakes towards your own kids ( if you want).
Drop the baggages from the past. Heal from the pains. And make peace with them now.
Heal, my friend, heal.
And promise to become a better or the best parent to your (unborn) kids ( now, or later.)
Heal from every dysfunction, and try to never repeat any mistake of your parents in your home.
That’s how you grow and start fresh family tree of growth, empowerment and success.
I’m rooting for you.
Stay Sharp!